Unmerited Favor - The Story of My Life
Sunday, June 8th, 2008I realized recently that it’s been quite a while since I’ve had the opportunity, or more likely, since I’ve taken the opportunity to share my testimony. There are probably a good chunk of my friends and coworkers who don’t know the source of my identity and the circumstances surrounding my transformation.
Jesus Christ was undoubtedly the most bold, genuine and charismatic person to have walked planet Earth. These are traits I highly value, especially genuineness. It almost makes me hit the floor when I read the story of Him boldly telling the Jewish leaders “I am He” in response to their questioning Him about whether He claimed to be The Messiah. He did and said only what was necessary to accomplish His mission; He wasn’t here to claim some fame.
Before He changed me, I was so radically different than Jesus Christ - what a surprise - but I didn’t realize it. I grew up in church, I prayed the “Sinner’s Prayer” numerous times, I wanted to be a Christian. The pastor said life was great as a Christian, who wouldn’t want that?
I remember at a church youth event one time praying the “Sinner’s Prayer” secretly in my seat and thinking “OK, this should do it - if I’m not a Christian now, God can’t blame me. I really want to be saved, truly, honestly want to be, so if I’m not, it’s His fault.” At the same time, not realizing completely this was the deal breaker, I knew I hadn’t utterly surrendered to God. I was holding onto some of my favorite sinfulness, knowing that I couldn’t give that up, it was too important to me.
After a few years of deceiving myself about being a Christian, attending every church event (albeit, by parental force) I decided that the fakery was no longer something I wanted to be a part of. I totally rejected even the idea that there is a God.
I spiraled down into a conscience-seared lifestyle that permitted me to sin without boundaries. This sin included drugs, crime and other teenage deviance. Ultimately, in a crunch to pay rent, I found myself talking with a friend about holding up a convenience store at a planned time that would supposedly net several thousand dollars. We put on some masks and in the middle of the night, we walked in with sawed off shotguns and demanded the money. This must seem like the point at which I had sunk the lowest, but I had been at that point for a long time prior.
After making foolish choices in the perpetration of the crime, we were apprehended and sent to jail. The first night I spent in jail was my 18th birthday. It started as the worst night of my life but ended quite differently.
After being a “faker” Christian for so long, I was pretty accustomed to seeing other fakers playing the “church game” right along side me. So, by this time seeing acts of “churchianity” made me sick. My first night in jail was spent in a “holding tank”, which is where they place you until you’re bailed out or sent to a more permanent cell. Among the other criminals were two guys who were Christians. One of the guys was a long time prisoner in the middle of a transfer from one prison to another. He had become a Christian in prison. The other guy was a Christian who had some traffic tickets he couldn’t afford to pay, so he voluntarily came to jail and turned himself in. A few days in jail would satisfy his traffic fines. These two had Bibles and were discussing scripture and at one point I think they even sang a praise song - IN JAIL…IN FRONT OF OTHER PRISONERS. This kind of disregard for what other people think was so contrary to what I saw everywhere else in “the church” it shocked me. This, I realized, is what I need. Right then, I just “thought” to myself that this is it, I’m giving up all of it - my life that is, and God gets it. I knew I had thoroughly screwed it up, and this, in a way, was like suicide. I was totally and completely giving my life up and entrusting it to God. Although I didn’t actually enunciate this in a prayer or to anyone else, I had also repented of my sin.
What happened next was the most miraculous thing I’ve ever experienced. It really was like a light from heaven - I felt like I had been washed clean. I was a new man! I couldn’t believe how I felt, or, I should say, I was overwhelmed at what God had done. This was just a couple minutes after watching these guys in the cell with me and everything was new. My attitude was changed. I had been swirling in the pool of misery I had created for myself. Now, in the jail cell, I was hopeful and excited about my future as a Christian. I wasn’t worried about my fate or the consequences of my actions. I knew that I deserved whatever laid before me, but that God was my protector, and whatever punishment I justly received, I was in God and He was in me.
I spent the next month in jail. A couple of kindhearted jailors recognized that I was a puny little 18 year old kid that was in over his head. They made me a “trustee” within a couple days of my arrival. God was already watching over me. Being a trustee meant that I was in amongst other “trustworthy” inmates, who the County used for chores, but that also had the privilege of not being in with violent criminals and some other added freedoms. During this month prior to being bailed out, I spent hours a day in the Word. I learned a lot and God used this month to grow me as a Christian before being released into the world.
I was bailed out, but I wasn’t off the hook. I was just waiting for my trial date. During the time that I waited to be tried, I was accepted as a Youth Intern at Green Acres Baptist Church. I felt like this was a great opportunity to relate my experiences and God’s solution. It was and I really value the time I spent as a Youth Intern there.
My accomplice in crime had his court date before mine. Because of some skillful work on the part of my Attorney, my trial was to be set in the Federal Court system so that the inevitable time I spent in prison would be in the much “safer” Federal Bureau of Prisons. I was also subject to a “mandatory minimum”, which means that despite any willingness to be merciful on the part of a Judge or Jury, I would have to spend a minimum amount of time in prison. For my crime, this was to be 13 years, 80% of which (10 1/2 years) would have to be served before being eligible for parole. The deal that was worked out with the Federal prosecution called for my sentence to be no longer than my accomplice’s, which was expected to be around 40 years state, which about 25% would have to be served before parole (10 years). To everyone’s surprise, he was given 1 year in jail (not prison) and 10 years probation. This was an incredibly light sentence for the crime (aggravated robbery).
How then, could I be given a Federal sentence that was “no longer” than my accomplice? I couldn’t! That’s right, the Federal prosecutors kept their word and did not even file charges on me. I was let completely off the hook. To this day, I don’t even have a mark on my record because of what God did for me!
Fast forward 12 years and I look at my life - I am married to the most wonderful wife a man could ever hope to have, I have an amazing family, I am successful with my work, we’re in good health and God answers our prayers. Most don’t have a testimony like this (thankfully), but what my testimony has given me is a very clear picture of God’s unmerited favor - what I meant for evil, He meant for good. I was a bumbling, stumbling foolish sinner that unwittingly and clumsily walked myself off a cliff. God caught me in His hand and has continued to faithfully fill my cup to overflowing.
I urge anyone who reads this to consider their own status. There is no requirement to say a certain prayer, or perform a ceremony at any location. All that is required is that you repent from your sin and surrender yourself completely into the wonderful Grace and Will of God.
 
